She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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