hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
