is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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