he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
