No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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