she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
there is glitter all over my balls
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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