When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
