My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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