Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize