my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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