porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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