Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize