If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize