just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
