whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize