He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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