I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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