# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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