I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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