My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize