Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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