At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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