Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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