She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
