Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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