ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
