we have officially lost it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
