So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i need some magic done to my vagina
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
