You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
