I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
