Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
