Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
