so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
