She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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