She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
