My liver just broke up with me...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
