I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
