How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize