yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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