I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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