And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
