I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize