i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
