Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Randomize
