YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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