haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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