are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
