What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize