I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
