I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
