The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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