Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
