Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
