I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize