As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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