Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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