I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
