some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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