lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
