we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize