dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
