Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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