Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
