what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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