$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
