cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
