Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
