so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize